Teacher's Diary #2 : Tall, young and pretty.

This #laterthannever post was written in 2016, on Christmas Eve. Why the hashtags tho? It's just...since Instagram has #latergram for photo or video that was posted later than the day it was taken, I thought why not my blog has one # too 😉

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So after school, sometimes kids from other class would come and hang out in my class while waiting for their parents to pick them up. So one day, one of them shares with me that she misses her former teacher, Ms. Claudia. Since I never met the mentioned teacher, so I just layan her story:

Me: Is Ms. Claudia a good teacher?

Mk: Yes she is, we have this corner in our class last time where we can write about anything or anyone and Ms. Claudia will read it in front of the class every morning.

Me: I see, why she is no longer here?

Mk: I don't know, other teachers said Ms. Claudia wanted to study more.

Me: (...just nodding)

Mk: But I don't think she needs to study more, since she's already good.

Me: (...continue nodding)

Mk: How old are you, Miss Ily?

Me: I am 24.

Mk: Urmmm, I think...nowadays the school only hire tall, young and pretty teacher, that's why I think Ms. Claudia is no longer here.

Clearly, my day was made that day. Let's just assumed that I'm in that "Tall-Young-Pretty" category. In fact, I'm the tallest in Primary 6S whattt...

Teacher's Diary #1

My little students take pride in everything they do -- even when they are selected to do such small tasks. Sometimes, they even proudly brag to their peers about it...which I found sooo unnecessary [but still too funny to be missed 😂😂😂].

"Isaac, seeee. Teacher is asking me to give everyone this. But teacher didn't ask you”. 

Another time, my little student asked me "Miss Ily, can I be your assistant?". Thought at first he just saying it. But the next thing I know, he comes to me beaming and proudly shows his self-made checklist.

Picture proof!

One time I was so busy and too occupied to even organise my table. And not realising, I said "Oh god...my table is such a mess".

And guess what? Happily, two girls come to my table and start organising my stuffs, as though it is the most urgent duty in the world. I SWEAR I have no intention of calling for help...but girlll who can say no to extra hands 😝😝😝 

Really...the sincerest souls sometimes come in very, very small packages like my little kids! They definitely had taught me to think and take greatly of my tasks, no matter how big or small. And to always be sincere and seek contentment in every task I do. Even though I felt changing day/date on the white-board is a pretty basic and unexciting task, but to them, it's the grandest deal of all for being able to do it for me [often sigh of disappointments can be heard across the class from those unselected...which I found it hilarious -- Guysss seriously it's not the end of the world 🙄🙄🙄]. Maybe they doesn't know any better. And probably they are just happy for being able to do what other adults could do. But mannn, children with no doubt have beautiful ability to find joy in everything they do and they are happy enough just by doing simple life tasks -- a life lesson that we all can learn.

Love, Ily ♡

Featured // May 2016

Hey, thought I wanna share it here since this space has now become my personal diary. And I've got the thought yang maybe just a few closed ones or probably no one read this blog. So yes, this is my diary//ranting space. So the thing that I want to share is ... I am featured in the May issue of Remaja magazine specifically in Pelajar Dirantau column guys. At first, I want to keep it as a secret because 1. it's not front page pun ㅋㅋㅋ  2. don't want to offend anyone in any way ... but then I finally decided to jot down something here on personal reason which I'll briefly explain below.

So ... maybe no one knows about this. But, both my sister and I once owned quite a number of Remaja, so manyyy until at some point I noticed that the topic featured pun pretty much redundant. But still we bought it back then. So seeing myself in the magazine, that my sister and I once love  making me feel all nostalgic, as it reminds me of my childhood and of course my dear sister. I think everybody can relate to what I feel, the feeling of being a part of something yang you once read/watch/listen to dulu. It's pretty touching (in a good way) isn't it? Suddenly can't imagine how emotional I'd be if later I got to work in my dream workplace *let's pray that I won't cry in the boss' office* So here it is!

To mom, thank you belikan majalah dulu *muahhh*

To my only sister, may we create many more memories together *tetiba*

And not to forget to kak ana, thank you for the write ups *insert appreciative face here*

On a side note, I still haven't properly thanked people who have helped me throughout the time before I flew here. Shall write it down whenever I'm free as my personal mental note. Just wanted to mention: you guys haven't been forgotten yet ♥

An emo, sentimental and sappy note.

Hi, how time flies! I'm now in my final year, and basically it's just 1 and a half month left till I'm officially finished with my study here. Oh on the side note, I find even the smallest things (like filling up my graduation form) make me teary-eyed these days (I even sebak right now huwaaa). Right now, I must say it's one of those critical moments - mountain of assignments, presentations, and my over-stresses self is not a good combination for the final year. But I know all of these will bit by bit pass, and I'll definitely miss it! Hence, that brings me to write here today, to serve as a reminder to my future self:

" Hi future Ilifatin, this is you sitting from your room in Newcastle, weather nowadays sucks and gloomy, resulting in you skipping class (Ok, classes -.-') Right now you've another 10,000 words to write/submit and presentations to kill, which I don't think this is a big issue as you read this (but trust me it is a critical time for you right now!) I hope you've become one happy woman, I hope everyday you do things you love and I hope your family is living a lovely life too :') And I bet you're crying by the time you reach this part, but you might have grown up strongly so you might not cry. And, no matter what you've become, I'm so so proud of you. If you're a successful person right now, Alhamdulillah good for you. But if you're not, please at least be happy. Go out and eat delicious food because when you're 23 that's your source of happiness (Or are you a vegan now? You better not!) Right now, this is 23y-5m-15d-Ilifatin who is writing, and I just want Ilifatin-in-the-future to be genuinely happy. Very very verrryyy happy. You might have greed and jealousy over other friends' achievements, but let me tell you again "I just want my future self to be really happy" and stay kind, stay kind, STAY KIND. Btw, you're pretty incredible! "

Now, back to reality -.-" pfft!!

2016!

Dear 23 years old self,

I know 2015 is a confusing year for you,
where you started to re-evaluate whether what you're doing right now is the right thing to do,
you're afraid of facing the future, because everything seems vague and uncertain.

But don't you worry, you're almost finish, you're closely there,
and when the end comes, without you realise, you'll be well prepared,
you'll survive, like you always do.

So don't you worry, don't you worry, don't you worry.

Always keep your faith straight that 2016 will treat you well,
as long as you be kind and generous to people around you, don't forget to spread the love and forgive more, and of course mengumpat less! :)

I will love you more, I will kindly treat you, make things that will make you happy,
as I realise that I'll only genuinely happy if I start loving my own self. 

Sincerely,
Me

Happyyy and Weird

Great things start to happen when you least expect it-- true. 
But to be less expectant or to expect nothing are quite difficult. Especially for me.

I'm not that go-with-the-flow kind of girl.
Or that "just wait and see" person.

'cause I'm a girl who give it all.
Sampai letih, sampai puas. Then only I'll stop.

But recently I noticed something new 'bout myself.
I start to give zero efforts, in certain things
-- like in love/people.

And weirdly, I'm happy. Weirdly happy. Or I yang weird?
-- ala which ever suits best la teehee!

Random : The Perfect Boyfriend

I came across this The Perfect Boyfriend quote and I just realized that I didn't thrill to have such a boyfriend like in the quote anymore.

I MAY find it interesting back then. Okay I lied. It WAS REALLY interesting to read on when I was in college because come on guys who doesn't want to have such a perfect-boyfriend as described in there right?

But as I'm "evolving towards maturity" (laugh while typing this now), all those perfect-boyfriend quotes doesn't interest me anymore and I don't fancy to read them.

And those perfect boyfriend characteristics are no longer matter to me.

Lets just say that I've became a realist because I know there's no such thing as a perfect boy or girl for that matter.

" So dear boy, if this was me from few years back I'll definitely hoping you to say that you love me as many times a day - 7 days a week - every week of the year we're together. But now, here it's the realistic me who's writing that has a thought that it's okay if you hardly tell me that you love me because I've learned that love is more than just saying I Love You "

Because I've learned that I can still feel loved by the loving gestures made by my loved one. Or maybe when receiving a hand-made card from none other than yours truly. 
No need to say the L word often, so for awhile you may just put those words to rest.
So when you say those words to me they will remains special and really means something.

Now I realized that there's nothing I want more than being with someone who's not perfect, but got something in himself that can perfect me (i.e guide me in this worldly life and hereafter). Lets just say that we complete each other !

P/S - The Perfect Boyfriend quote was and still fun to read, but yeah like I said I'm "progressing towards maturity" (read - I . AM. AIN'T . FUN . ANYMORE) 

Home

10 more days,
To meet my lovely mom,
And only when I'm with her, I feel home and I'm home.

Because a house not really a home for me,
I can live everywhere and call anywhere as home,
Just name it, everywhere, anywhere.

Home is whenever I get to be with my mom.
Yeah I'm THAT clingy.

Happy Mother's Day Ma

I still remember when I was 13 years old, I got asthma attack and my mum decided to bring me home,to rest. After I got home,my mum made me a cup of milo,feed me lunch and (miraculously) it just took few hours for me to feel super-healthy again. Thanks mama,you always know what is the cure. "The love you give me is the best medicine that was pure". I LOVE YOU.

Lessons from At-Takathur

Just a reminder to myself and whoever come across this diary (read: blog) of mine. It was presented by Nouman Ali Khan (trust me,his explanations are never disappointing and fun too!). This time around,he talks about Surah At-Takathur which mainly about how human(we) usually distracted by entertainment and not using all the nikmah given to us in the way He command. 

♥ I guess I should at least kurangkan from listen/watch/do something melalaikan. Hopefully,by taking those baby steps will help me to get 'there' (to be a better muslim inshaaAllah) ♥

I should..

I should ask myself from the first time I lay my eyes on you
'Do you think you're a perfect match for him?'
'Do you think you deserve someone like him?'

Because you're a good man,
Really,you are baby.

But there's one question more
'Do you think I'm purposely fall for someone like him?'

No,because it just happened ac-ci-den-tal-ly

But when a "How-are-you" text,replied with something like that
I should know,that I should go
Maybe it was a "I-don't-have-heart-to-tell-you-but-please-stop-texting-me" from you?

I got you baby,
I should go,I know.

It must have been love

I Miss YOU

Dear Allah,

ease the ache in my heart,

cause I've never been this sore.

Ich vermisse dich so sehr

If this is a good bye,

say it.

If this is the end,

tell me.

Absence,

it can makes the heart grow fonder.

And,

absence can makes the heart fickle,too.

You know how insecure I can be,

but this time I'll give you the space so you could breath,

and I'll keep my distance so you'd be free.

Ich vermisse dich so sehr,

M

Good Night

Alhamdulillah,we finally found you MH370.

Alfatihah.

You'll always be missed and remembered, not only by your next of kin, but by us too.

And I'm sure you've done something good to receive all the love(s) and doa(s) from us, strangers.

We're connected at hearts, really we are.

Words

Sometimes I just don't know.

Can't people say something nicely?
Even teguran untuk benda yang baik.
Dimana anda betul, dan dia di posisi salah.
Tak bermaksud anda ada kuasa untuk bercakap sewenangnya kepada dia.

Cuba lah.
Cakap berkias berlapik.
Pakai lah apa cara pun yang perlu.
Cuba lah, tak rugi tahu?

Rasulullah SAW pun walau berdepan dengan umatnya yang berdosa setinggi gunung pun, masih boleh menutur ayat yang betul dan dalam nada terkawal. Kenapa bukan saya,anda dan kita?

"Tapi the way you said it just now so rough,garang" kata si dia.
'Ah,tak kisahlah yang salah tetap salah' kata anda.
Nampak?

As how I never said things in high tone or talk rudely to people, that's also how I expect people to treat or talk to me. Fair enough?

But I was totally wrong. Few people prove me wrong. Disappointed - thats the word.

Tapi itulah. Walau macam mana pun. I'll never regret for being myself - sensitive to people's heart and try to jaga the way I speak and so on - tak kisah lah with sahabat lama atau sahabat baru. 

Sentiasa jaga. Tak mahu ada yang terasa. 

Say what? 'Alhamdulillah'

Because, some stories are meant to be short.

Sesuatu yang kita anggap penting hari ini, mungkin esok akan hilang, pergi, atau akan menganggap kita tak lagi penting pada keesokan hari. Hargailah dan berbahagialah dengan apa yang dimiliki sekarang.

Says Alhamdulillah all the time. 

Alhamdulillah,terima kasih Ya Rabbi.

Teman

Alhamdulillah,through my time here,Allah have gave me opportunities to meet good people. So just want to summarize who and what makes me feel thankful for.

Pertamanya,my housemates. They are the loveliest people that I ever met since I'm here. I kid you not,readers. Because they are kind and caring. Kak ein,still living with me. Remember her from my previous post? And we are living with some new friends - Syakie (a good cook) / Zaheera (a good girl) / Dayah (a cheerful girl) / Nelly (a kind-hearted girl) / Alyaa (a brutal but soft hearted girl). Each seconds,I thank Allah for all of these people He have sent me. Alhamdulillah,sesungguhnya kawan penting dalam menjaga dan menegur kita so tak terpesong ke apa apa hendaknya. I love my housemates <3

Keduanya,my guy friends. Here,Allah pertemukan dengan M. Enough to say that,I'm grateful to Him for giving me a chance to have a friend(?) like M. Apapun ending kita,ily tetap bersyukur atas pertemuan ini. Alhamdulillah. Next,Ifzuan. Baik and sangat pemurah orangnya. Selalu kelihatan gembira,kesedihan semua tersimpan kemas di lubuk hati (cewah) but that's my personal opinion of him. And next,'wingrove'-a house yang menempatkan guys yang baik baik,dan boleh diharapkan sebagai kawan (Shahrizal like my own brother/Adham seorang yg manja macam adik tp baik hatinya/Haniff like the father of the house,a good guy/Zaim for me is a quite guy but always treate me nicely/Javad is another good guy in the house/Jang is a good cook,a good friend). Dannn oh ya,Hariz. Seorang lagi kawan yang baik hati,peminat Syakie (hahaha doakan yang terbaik saja). Alhamdulillah untuk semuanya Ya Rahman <3

Terima kasih Yang Maha Pemurah,kerana memurahkan rezeki ily untuk terus dikelilingi orang orang yang baik hati tinggi budi sangat menghormati satu sama lain :') Alhamdulillah.

Name

Talking about name and its meaning. And how it gives effects to one's behavior. My friend's name's just consist of one word. And we just found out that his name has no meaning. So he has this thought that he wanted to change his name later on. But i said to him 'don't,because name was the first present that our parents gave to us'. So sayangi nama anda alright :)

Flying

I don't know how to express my feelings regarding the missing of the MH370 flight to Beijing. For me myself, being on board still not my favorite thing. But what to do,since its the only option for me to go back and forth from Malaysia to Newcastle.  Its a scary thing you know. Since you are like thousands feet up in the air. If anything happen,you can't just jump out the plane,you can't. You have no other way out. Which I think,that's the scariest part of it. Honestly,i don't know what to expect. If we look at the hours that the plane had gone missing and with its fuel capacity,the plane must have been landed somewhere. Just,honestly i don't know what to expect. I've been active on Twitter,scrolling through the tweets and its all because of MH370. How I have a high hope that all the crews and passengers will come home alive (Amin) Its heart breaking enough to read all the news about them and to see some of passengers pictures before they went on board. Ya Allah,make it easy for the rescue team to rescue them. 

Nobody knows when the last goodbye is. Therefore,always create good memories with people around us especially with the loved ones. So that, if it become our last goodbye,it will be a memorable one. Say what you want to say/whats on your mind/in your heart. Because life is too short to keep everything inside! Like,i'm missing my mum right now. And i'm might be a terrible sister but i do love my siblings wholeheartedly. Oh and I miss you M and of course missing my baby bella,sya,ct and all my seniors; kak iqa,kak hani,abg bob and so on .. #heartconfession #okaybye #prayforMH370

Rindu

Rindu anis,
Rindu adik,
Do you ever miss kakak? :(